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Sometimes you see someone snap and you think, here we go again. But if you look a bit longer, you see something else. It looks more like someone who has no clue where to put their pain anymore. So it comes out as anger. Because thats easier than saying youre scared. Or that you havent felt safe in years.
I heard someone say recently that underneath almost every angry reaction theres a person whos stuck. I liked that. And it made me uneasy. Because its true. We call it personality or stubbornness, but most of the time its just old hurt trying to get out. You see it in friends. Family. And if youre honest, in yourself too.
And honestly, it all feels a bit twisted sometimes. You think youve worked through it. Youve listened to the podcasts, youve had the talk, youve convinced yourself you forgave someone. And then a fresh layer of anger shows up. Because now youre annoyed that youre angry. So you make yourself wrong again. And that becomes this weird slow burn that never gets any air.
A psychologist once said that underneath anger theres almost always a person who just wants to be seen. Sounds soft, but if you peel it back, thats whats left. A part of you thats been calling out for a long time. Just not in a very gentle way.
And then you understand why people run to all kinds of things. Pills, workouts, work, Netflix, booze. Anything to avoid feeling whats underneath. No drama needed. Its just human. Were all improvising.
Maybe thats the real lesson. You dont need to yell or run or tear yourself down. Sometimes you just have to sit down and say, okay. This hurts. Thats it. No analysis. No blaming someone else. Just admitting its there.
Funny thing is, it already gets a little lighter when you do. Like finally petting the dog thats been barking all day.
#healing #humanness #emotions
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