I was single — well, divorced — when I chose to become a mom via a sperm donor. Women become single mothers in different ways, some through choice and some through chance, but either way, single motherhood is the hardest thing you will ever do, and by far (far, far) the most important. Here's why we single moms rock.

1. We're faster at making decisions — starting with picking a name. While my mom-friends who are raising kids with a partner are busy negotiating (ahem, fighting about) every last detail of how to approach parenthood, we single mothers are five steps ahead. We've already decided on a style that works for us, selected the preschool, and figured out which religion to raise the child. Heck, we even picked out the child's name, without having to pretend to consider naming her after our husband's great-aunt Bertha.

2. For single mothers by choice, our kids know just how much they're wanted. Any woman who has used a sperm donor to get pregnant will have children who know just how purposefully planned and wanted they were. Even single moms who became mothers through adoption or surrogacy will have kids who feel that sense of being planned or chosen or wanted. Not that partnered mothers don't also often plan their kids! Or don't want them! But how many women can say they got pregnant by appointment? Not to mention the fact that, since I became a single mother by choice, I can't tell you how many partnered mothers (and partnered fathers!) have taken me aside and told me that their spouse didn't want kids as much as they did — or even had to be talked into parenthood. That will never be the case for my kids.

3. For single mothers by chance, our kids show us the best of a missing partner. Any woman who has become a single mother due to the death of a spouse gets to have a piece of that missing partner around, in the form of the child they created together. For some women, the pain of being a widow is eased by getting to nurture and raise children.

4. We get to learn how to do it all. Mothers who have a man as a co-parent usually leave the "teach our son how to pee standing up" task up to the dad. Having a son, this is something I get to learn how to teach him myself. He's a toddler who is still in diapers now, but we're quickly phasing that out. Time to call up my guy friends for some pointers on pointing! When you're a single mother, there's never a dull moment — and there are plenty of opportunities to challenge gender stereotypes too. It's like a feminist boot camp.

5. We get to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day — because we fill both roles. A friend who is a single mother by choice posted an image on Facebook recently of a greeting card that said "Happy Father's Day, Mom." When you're both mother and father, you're celebrated twice as much. And in my house, we use Father's Day as an opportunity to appreciate my father, my son's grandpa, which makes everyone feel special.

6. We're single, but we're not alone. I don't know any single mom who doesn't have an extensive network of friends and family helping her. In some two-parent families, things can get kind of isolated. Single moms work out an alternative kinship structure, and our children get to learn that there are many different ways of creating family.

7. Our dating prospects come prescreened. A single mom who dates is not necessarily looking for someone to help raise her kids, but she's probably going to automatically weed out anyone who is anti-kid. After all, people who don't like kids or don't have any interest in being parents are probably not going to want to date someone who is already pregnant with, and picking out nursery colors for, baby no. 2.

8. We'll never rush a relationship. You probably won't find a single mom running to the altar with someone she just met at a bar in Vegas the night before — at least not due to any sense of a ticking biological clock. We've already beaten the clock (or, for those who adopted or used surrogates, ignored it)! We've had our children. So, for us, romantic and relationship decisions are based purely on whether the other person would make a good partner, not based on the fact that age 40 is fast-approaching.

9. We get 100 percent of the hassles, but also 100 percent of the hugs. It's true that there are a lot of challenges (so many!). But there are also amazing rewards, in the form of getting every single one of my kid's hugs and kisses.